Stoned movie review

28 02 2010

This happened to me a few years back. The conversation is between me and my cousin.





2012: Be Prepared

25 02 2010

A few months ago, I made the slightly over-confident statement that the Mayans got the year wrong when saying the world is ending in 2011, rather than 2012. I did back it up with good reason, and, to tell you the truth, I still don’t see how the world (except for poverty-stricken villages with no access to cinema) will survive the VD overdose. But, for a second, let’s consider that I am being a little partial, and that the end of the world countdown will reach its climax on 22 December 2012, I would say we need to be prepared. Emotionally and habitually. Here are a few suggestions on preparations. Read the rest of this entry »





Everyone has a story to tell

17 02 2010

I opened the cab door and stated my desired destination even before I had settled in the back seat. No rush, just habit. Fast. Do everything fast. Short, quick movements. Open door, step in, toss backpack on seat, sit, shut door. Quick, but fluid movements. Once in, relax and take a deep breath. That’s what life has become. I glanced at the watch. Six fifteen. Rush hour. Everyone wants to get home. As the cabbie drives by, I see hopeful passengers waving their arms for the taxi to stop, but darned it. Their eyes meet mine in a sad, understanding way, a gentle nod from them that says “You won”.

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Bapu!

15 02 2010

It would be impossible for me, a Pakistani, to write a critical piece on Gandhi and not emotionally provoke the Indian reader. However, I shall attempt to do this as politely as possible and hope for the best. Please be advised that I am neither an anti-Indian nor an anti-Hindu individual. This piece is not meant to offend any one. Please read through the entire text before passing any hateful comments.

“Oh God,” said Gandhi, right after he was shot by Nathuram Vinayak Godse, as he fell to the ground and died. Relatively unknown TV actor Ben Kingsley’s portrayal of the Mahatma made its way into the hearts of millions around the world in 1982’s multiple Oscar-winning Gandhi. In truth, the actual words he uttered right before he died were “Hai Ram”, but since that translates to “Oh one-quarter-avatar-of-the-seventh-reincarnation-of-the-Lord-Vishnu”, the word “God” was used for simplicity. Read the rest of this entry »





Am I indirectly blowing this dude?

28 01 2010

DISCLAIMER: This story is not for the faint of heart. If you cringe easily or are weak in the stomach, stop reading now.

I was in Karachi some time ago and had to meet a cousin near Tariq Road because he was taking me to his tailor. That’s another story, though. I called him and he said he’d take another 15, which was cool because I decided to just stroll down the market, take in the city and all that. Read the rest of this entry »





When grown ups go online

28 01 2010

In a desperate effort to bridge that ever-increasing generation gap, my dad decided that he must join Facebook. And why not? Everyone’s on it. He got on the bandwagon, along with a few other grown ups (in this case meaning people 50+) in my family and suddenly, my family tree, which I have been attempting to build for years, came alive as a social network of its own.

Fuck that shit.

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The Heartbreak Kids

7 01 2010

After a year of surprising-but-long-awaited ups and there-they-go-again downs, the Pakistani cricket fans were treated to a great 2nd Test at SCG, glued to their seats after the Aussie crumble on Day 1. Read the rest of this entry »





WTF are people Googl-ing? Newton’s Birthday Special

4 01 2010

Following up on my post from last September, I decided that I was going to perform a brand new search on Google with some new keywords, just to see if , by any chance, with the advent of the new decade, people have reduced their searches for stupid things. Turns out, not so much. Mind you, these are all done today – take note of the Google logo. Read the rest of this entry »