Holy awesomeness! Don’t ask me what I was doing, but I found this wonderfully innocent query by a young woman on AllExperts.com under the Islam queries section. If you thought oral sex was frowned upon, think again! Our girl asks:
Asalaam-Alaikum
I have been married for 11 months now Allhamdolilah and just recently my husband has said several time as foreplay for him, If I would just suck his penis keeping in mind he would cover his penis with a condom a contraceptive so it would not be messy.
I have stated several times I find it very uncomfatable [sic] in doing this, he respects this, but when we are about to intercourse he asks again and therefore we don’t do intercourse in the end. The last hting [sic] I want to do is upset my husband. Lately we haven’t been doing intercourse fact of the above. What do I do? It effects me a lot as not satisfying my husband.
I will await your reply Inshallah.Wsalam
Jazakallah
Personally, I feel her husband is already very accommodating if he’s wearing his rubber while she sucks him off. I mean, who does that. Also, it shows that the wife is not aware of the protein content she’s missing. The expert in this case, Imam Habeeb replies:
Oral sex is fine and can be done even without condom as its all foreplay but not to have the real thing at the end is strange and needs some therapy. Maybe he was abused in the pass or accustomed to masturbation. He has to be satisfied and so too you must reach orgasm- both of you should have intercourse. Well what you are doing is fine and alllowed but try to bing [sic] him to enter otherwise threaten him to leave him!
This woman is asking permission to blow her husband… is she really going to threaten to leave him? I think not. Anyways, the point is, I was relieved to see that blow jobs are an Islamically approved activity, because first of all, it cheers up most of my Muslim friends (ALL men love blow jobs, period.), and secondly (this is where my sick mind starts working) it provides an opportunity to develop a “slanguage” for this activity that is geared specifically towards the desi Muslim brotherhood. Here goes:
> Smoke the fat beedi
> Polish the AK
> Butter the bhutta (a desi version of corn on the cob)
> Play the Shehnai
> Taste the Kulfi
> Swallow the Malai maker
> Blow the seetee (whistle)
> Suck the ganna (sugar cane)
and finally, my favorite, and one I can’t possibly translate:
> Pant utaar, loot maar
You are more than welcome to add your own.
Blasphemously yours,
Noman.
[...] Oh, BTW, see how the girl had to type B.L.O.W job for it to appear in a clean search. Clever girl, this. Oh, and speaking of blow jobs, read below. [...]
Hello, Iam surprised to note that you are Muslims buty have a Hindu Goddess as your masthead for your dirty writing also?
Might I suggest you use naked Fatima or Prophet Muhammed getting blowjob from 8 years old girl or Aisha or even a picture of your own mother or sister sucking your or your friend’s penis.
You will pay for this, InshAllah
Hello, Iam surprised to note that you are Muslim bastard but have had the audacity to have a Hindu Goddess as your masthead for your dirty writing!
Might I suggest you use naked Fatima or Prophet Muhammed getting blowjob from 8 years old girl or Aisha or even a picture of your own mother or sister sucking your or your friend’s penis.
You will pay for this, InshAllah
Hello Mark. Thanks for your kind words. To clarify, I am not Muslim. In fact, I have no religious inclinations whatsoever. The picture of the Hindu goddess on the masthead is explained here in the FAQ section. You have taken it rather personally, yourself. I can’t tell what religion you follow because you seem to have no Islamic respect either (based on your comments). You have lashed out at something that seems to have no real relevance to you, but I appreciate your hate-mail and will take it in my stride.
N.
Hey Mark, I totally agree with your comments. Noman is a dirty bastard and should be castrated for making these comments and posting dirty writings!
Just tell me this though : does your boyfriend tickle your cock with his lower lip fuzz when giving you a blow job? Or do you shoot off by sticking your finger in his ass and tickling his prostate?
Either ways I’m happy to see someone like yourself on the right side of juicetice. Oops did I just say that? I meant justice…
[...] :: The Islamic BJ [...]
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