After he ended a two-year long relationship recently, my friend D took my advice and said no to his ex-girlfriend’s offer that they remain friends. When she asked him why, he casually stated that I had been his advocate in the decision. This got me into trouble, because, let’s face it – I hadn’t really thought it through when I offered him my advocacy, but something inside me told me it was the right thing for him to do. When she confronted him and coaxed him for an explanation, he came to me. And I had this to say to him, as my reasoning.
Imagine, if you will, that you love KFC. You go there everyday and pick the same value meal, in this case, a Dinner Box, which consists of three pieces of friend chicken, french fries, a (stale) bun, Pepsi and coleslaw. Everyday. One day you go there and place your “same as always” order, and the girl behind the counter says you can have everything but the the coleslaw. No reduction in price either. You just can’t get any more coleslaw. Oh, but here’s the catch. She still wants you to be a regular customer, coming in everyday for your beloved Dinner Box, except for the coleslaw. Now, you love your coleslaw, I mean, who doesn’t. You go to KFC mostly because of the coleslaw, but since you can’t just get a coleslaw (or at least not without some weird glances your way), you go and order the entire meal. And it’s good. You eat your chicken, your fries, slurp on your watered-down Pepsi while nibbling on a dry bun (seriously, a bun? who the fuck came up with that idea?), but you finish it off with coleslaw. And suddenly there’s no coleslaw? Mind you, coleslaw is available at the prestigious fast-food outlet. It’s just not available to you!
You now have two choices. You can either take your chicken with coleslaw fetish to some other place that has equally good chicken and coleslaw (like Fresh Chicken King, in Sharjah) or you agree to getting your Dinner Box without coleslaw at KFC. The reason I do not recommend the latter is because, realistically, you love the coleslaw, and you’ll only be going back to KFC in the hope that if you put in enough Dinner Box orders without coleslaw, she’ll eventually feel sorry for you and start giving you some coleslaw on the side. But where’s your pride, man? Don’t fucking go that low. And think about it. You’re there one day, placing your order, getting your Dinner Box sans coleslaw, and some asshole walks in asking for he same order, and she says to him: “Would you like some coleslaw on the side?”
That’s gotta hurt.
