Filed under Priority Reading …

Nov 10 2011
1 Comment
Current Affairs, Priority Reading, Regular Blabber

The problem with closeted friends…

Let me just start by saying that I don’t actually have a problem with gays. They’re fine by me, and I respect them. I’m not homophobic and I don’t say “stay away from me” if you admit you’re gay, ‘cos I understand you’re gay and not an anal rapist. Which reminds me… why do guys do that? What if girls started saying that to heterosexual guys? Wouldn’t that be offensive?

Anyways, so, as things go nowadays, I do have a few gay friends and they’re cool, and my behavior with them is totally normal. But, there is this one friend who I know is gay, and everyone knows is gay, but since he hasn’t mustered up the courage to step out of the closet yet (he’s 32, it’s about time!), it puts the rest of us in a really awkward situation – pretending that we think he’s straight.

Harder (excuse the deliberate innuendo) than you might think. Continue reading →

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Aug 26 2010
15 Comments
Current Affairs, Pakistan, Priority Reading

I am Pakistan

Yes, and it’s because of the way I am.

I think I love my country, I’m not sure. I am a hypocrite. I am first to criticize it when I see its troubles, but not the first to act and do something about those troubles. And that, dear readers, is what Pakistan is all about. I quote Jinnah every once in a while to vocalize my supposed patriotism, but I don’t necessary follow his ideology. I pray five times a day and I fast during Ramadan but after Iftar I curse on the streets and lech at my friend’s sister. Continue reading →

May 26 2010
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Current Affairs, Dubai, Priority Reading

The Facebook World War

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Apr 19 2010
2 Comments
Current Affairs, Dubai, Priority Reading

But I still just hate McDonald’s

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I’m no health food advocate. Far from it. I hate going to a sandwich place and having to eat those wholemeal loaves stuffed with lettuce and tomatoes, with only a paper-thin slice of turkey. I like my man-sandwiches, thick and steak-like, with minimal interruptions from rabbit food. I’m like the anti-vegetarian. And my body (gorgeous as it is) sort of allows for it. So, I don’t mind the occasional burger binge, you know, with a large order of fries and coke on the side. In fact, I love that shit. But I hate McDonald’s. I fucking hate it. And it’s not for the reason you may think at first. Continue reading →

Mar 29 2010
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Current Affairs, Dubai, Priority Reading

The girl with the Shavani

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So, I’m at this pizzeria near the office and it’s lunch time, and I happen to witness the weirdest thing, as I so often do. This girl, possibly an Arab, has walked in right before me. Very slim, she is wearing a smart knee length skirt. Grey. Office like, yet not too HR director-like. Above that, she’s got a light pink linen top. Short sleeves, just covering her shoulders, and then there’s nothing on her slender arms except a casual everyday silver bracelet. She probably never takes that off. It’s got heart-shaped trinkets.  Her heels aren’t too high. And she’s wearing open toe. Again, business-like with an air of casual. Continue reading →

Mar 28 2010
1 Comment
Current Affairs, Dubai, Priority Reading, Regular Blabber

Cougars and Sugar Daddies Rejoice

Lunch time. I sat on an outdoor table, having just finished my paste. My coffee arrives, with a free mini-cookie and a spoon wrapped in a white napkin. The paper napkin is branded with the name of the coffee shop. Bodomi, it says. And right under it – dal 1886. I guess that means since 1886. And I’m like, who cares, right? Wrong. Apparently, people care. Somehow, it’s like that with brands. They always want to state their age; something about the attached heritage. And I really don’t know if I care. I come here because it’s close to my work place. But, there it is. Right in front of me. Bodomi – dal 1886. Continue reading →

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Feb 17 2010
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Current Affairs, Dubai, Pakistan, Priority Reading, Regular Blabber

Everyone has a story to tell

I opened the cab door and stated my desired destination even before I had settled in the back seat. No rush, just habit. Fast. Do everything fast. Short, quick movements. Open door, step in, toss backpack on seat, sit, shut door. Quick, but fluid movements. Once in, relax and take a deep breath. That’s what life has become. I glanced at the watch. Six fifteen. Rush hour. Everyone wants to get home. As the cabbie drives by, I see hopeful passengers waving their arms for the taxi to stop, but darned it. Their eyes meet mine in a sad, understanding way, a gentle nod from them that says “You won”.

Continue reading →

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Feb 15 2010
1 Comment
History, Movies, Priority Reading

Bapu!

It would be impossible for me, a Pakistani, to write a critical piece on Gandhi and not emotionally provoke the Indian reader. However, I shall attempt to do this as politely as possible and hope for the best. Please be advised that I am neither an anti-Indian nor an anti-Hindu individual. This piece is not meant to offend any one. Please read through the entire text before passing any hateful comments.

“Oh God,” said Gandhi, right after he was shot by Nathuram Vinayak Godse, as he fell to the ground and died. Relatively unknown TV actor Ben Kingsley’s portrayal of the Mahatma made its way into the hearts of millions around the world in 1982′s multiple Oscar-winning Gandhi. In truth, the actual words he uttered right before he died were “Hai Ram”, but since that translates to “Oh one-quarter-avatar-of-the-seventh-reincarnation-of-the-Lord-Vishnu”, the word “God” was used for simplicity. Continue reading →

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